Lyrics:

Baby I'm doing fine since you left me, and my friends seem to think I have a lot more time, but as far as I'm concerned, all the money that I earn is going to this 1-900 line. She said I was the greatest lover she'd ever heard, she said that I had too much love for you, and for a small five dollar cover she'd be my long distance lover, and so long as I pay she'll never say we're through.

Chorus

Cause I'm a 1-900 user and a telephone abuser,
But I've got an 800 dollar credit line,
Yeah and I've got you to thank dear that the money in the bank here,
Is going to that little girl out in Caroline.

She said that her phone name was Madonna, and she said she was just like a virgin, too, I said I don't care about your old virginity just boost my masculinity, and tell me that your love is ever true.

Chorus

Baby I'm doing fine since you left me, and I'm glad that you just up and let me be, yeah and you can tell your mother, that I done found another, and I wouldn't call even if you were toll free.

Chorus