Lyrics:

Hey mister man on the street
Excuse me
Do you have a few moments to spare?
oh yeah
Don't worry I'm not trying to sell you anything you wouldn't want
I'm just a questionnaire

Tell me what you think about this low-fat diet shampoo
Do you think it's crunchy, half-crunchy or not crunchy at all?
Put a tick in the appropriate box
There's nothing to it

Yes no don't know I don't care
I'm only a questionnaire
Only a questionnaire

Please mister man on the street
Believe me
I'm only doing my job and I need to know
oh oh ho
Everything about you
Take it easy all you gotta do is answer yes or no

Tell me what you think about the devil and the deep blue sea
Do you think there's one true god, a false god or
No god at all?
(no god at aaaaaaaall)
Put a tick in the appropriate box
There's nothing to it

Yes no don't know I don't care
I'm only a questionnaire
Yes no don't know I don't care
I'm only a questionnaire
Only a questionnaire

Now can ya
Tell me what you think about how easy it can be to buy a gun
Do you think it's crazy, half-crazy or not crazy at all?
Put a tick in the appropriate box...