Lyrics:

Oh, lighten up, where's your sense of humor
They're just tiny little rumors
That I started 'cause I'm lookin' out for you
Oh, settle down, I'm just a little jealous
And I'm sure those other fellas
Never once believed the lies I told were true
Like the time I told that cowboy
That you used to be a man
And the doctor you were datin'
That you hide your wedding band
Even if I am responsible for scaring them away
They'd really ought to thank me
I was doin' you a favour
'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway
Oh, can't you see, the reason that I'm doin'
All the crazy things I'm doin'
Is, because I really care about you girl
And I'll admit I go a little farther
Than I know I probably oughta
But it's all because I need you in my world
Like the time I told that lawyer
That you spent a year in jail
And the salesman you were seein'
You hang out in cheap motels
Even if I am responsible for scaring them away
You'd really ought to thank me
I was doin' you a favor
'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

I can't stand the thought of you
With anybody else
I know I've gone overboard
But I can't help myself
Like the time I told that dentist
You had seven little kids
And you doubled as a dancer at the strip club on the ridge
Even if I am responsible for scaring them away
You really ought to thank me
I was doin' you a favour
'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway
It's all because I love you and
I can't stop thinking of you
And it never woulda worked out anyway