Lyrics:

Who's that waddlin' down the street?
It's just me, 'cause I love to eat
Fudge and Twinkies and deviled ham
Who's real flabby? Yes, I am!
Every picture of me's
Gotta be an aerial view
Now my doctor tells me
There's just one thing left to do--

Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Throw out the pizza and beer
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Might seem a little severe
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
I'm gettin' tired of my big fat rear
Blow, fatty!

Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like Kate Moss
Walked down an alley and I got stuck
I got more rolls than a pastry truck
When I'm all done eating
I eat a little more
When I leave a room
First I gotta grease the door

Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Can't have another éclair
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
I gotta decrease my derriere

I'm on a Grapefruit Diet
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet

No more pie now
No more créme brulee
Lay off the gravy
And souffle
No french fri-yi-yies now
No ice cream parfait
Mr. Cheese Nacho
Stay away

Oh, I think I'd sell my soul
For a triple patty melt
But I need a boomerang
When I put on my belt

Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Lay off the 3 Musketeers
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Until my big booty disappears
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
Eat 'em till they're comin' out of my ears
Grapefruit Diet (Diet!)
'Cause I haven't seen my feet in years

I'm on a Grapefruit Diet
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet

I think I'm about ready for a Quarter Pounder with extra cheese
I need a side order of onion rings
And don't forget to Super-Size that
Yeah