Lyrics:

I'm in a nice bit of trouble, I confess
Somebody with me has had a game
(spoken)
I should mention this is sung from the woman's point of view
So um—
(sung)
I should by now be a proud and happy bride
But I've still got to keep my single name
I was proposed to by Obadiah Binks
In a very gentlemanly way
I lent him all my money so that he could buy a home
And punctually at twelve o'clock today

There was I, waiting at the church
Waiting at the church, waiting at the church
When I found he'd left me in the lurch
Lord, how it did upset me!
All at once, round there comes a note
Here's the very note, this is what he wrote
'I can't get away to marry you today
My wife won't let me!'

Lord, what a fuss Obadiah made of me
When he used to take me to the park
He used to squeeze me till I was black and blue
When he kissed me he used to leave a mark
Each time he met me he treated me to port
And took me now and then to see the play
Now understand me rightly when I say he treated me
It wasn't him but me that used to pay

And there was I, waiting at the church
Waiting at the church, waiting at the church
When I found he'd left me in the lurch
Lord, how it did upset me!
All at once, round there comes a note
Here's the very note, this is what he wrote
'I can't get away to marry you today
My wife won't let me!'

Just think how disappointed I must feel
I'll be off my crumpet very soon
I've lost my husband—the one I never had
And I dreamed so about the honeymoon
I'm looking out for another Obadiah
I've already bought the wedding ring
There's all my little fal-the-riddles packed up in my box
Yes, absolutely two of everything

But there was I, waiting at the church
Waiting at the church, waiting at the church
When I found he'd left me in the lurch
Lord, how it did upset me!
All at once, round there comes a note
Here's the very note, this is what he wrote
'I can't get away to marry you today
My wife won't let me!'
'Oh I can't get away to marry you today
My wife won't let me!'