Lyrics:

I am the Big Shot
You heard me right the first time
Name of bachelor Johnny Cool
Occupation, Big Shot
Occupation at the moment, just having fun
What a party that was
The drinks were loaded
And so were the dolls
I narrowed my eyes and poured a stiff Manhattan
Then I saw Hotsie, what a dame
A big, bountiful babe in the region of 48-23-38
One hell of a region
She had the hottest lips since Hiroshima
I had to stand back for fear of being burned
'Whiskey wow, wow,' I breathed
She was dressed as Biffo The Bear
In that kind of outfit
She could get rolled at night
And I don't mean on a crap table
'It's kind of revealing, isn't it?'
'Revealing? It's positively risque
I like it,' she said
'You're a man with a thousand Gs, right?'
'A thousand what?' I quipped
'G-men, girls, guns, guts'
'You're my type'
'Wrong, baby', I slapped her hard
'I'm an L man, strictly liquor, love and laughs'

She stared over my shoulder
'Play it cool, Johnny'
'Play it what?' I flipped
'Listen, I fought my way up from tough East Side New York
Lead-filled saps and sub-machine guns, like this'
She said, 'Johnny, this is a deadly game
Have a few laughs and go home'
I shuddered, normally I pack a rod in pajamas
I carry nothing but scars from Normandy beach
I said, 'Wrong, baby, you can't fool me'
She spat playfully, 'I'm ahead of you, Johnny'
I studied the swell of her enormous boobs and said
'Baby, you're so far ahead it's beautiful'
'You, you are, you are eccentric, I like that'
'Electric Cheri, bounce off my rocket, tout comprehend?'
We spoke French fluently, our lips met again and again
'Yeah, yeah, yeah,' I slobbered
Hotsie said, 'You're slobbering all over the seat, kid'
I went home late, very late
What could I say to my wife?
'Darling, I've been beaten up again?'
Let's face it, she's credulous as hell

A punk stopped me on the street
He said, 'You got a light, mac?'
I said, 'No, but I've got a dark brown overcoat'