Lyrics:

They're not up on the dresser;

I've looked and they're not underneath

The bed or in the laundry.

Pardon me while I go outa my head.

They're not in any pocket;

Thank God I didn't lock 'em in the car,

But I'm so late now,

And I'd appreciate your help

If you might have any clue

To where they are.



Where are my keys?

Where are my keys?

I'd give anything if I could find my...



They're not out in the garden,

Or hidden in a pile of magazines,

Or in the dish rack.

Must be something else they'd be in between,

Be in between.

They're not up on the key hook,

Where you have told me time and time again

I ought to put them

When I walk in the door.

Oh just get off it!

I suppose you never lose anything yourself.



Where are my keys?

Where are my keys?

I'd give anything if I could find my...



Listen, would you tell her

I won't be there right on time?

Sorry, I'm afraid that

I won't be there right on time.



Listen, could we possibly

Make it another day?

Sorry, would you tell her

I'm usually not this way?



Wait - wait a minute - okay,

I thought I had them in my

Coat last night, or were you driving?

That's right, you were.

Gotta figure out what I did,

Get a picture in my head

Of how I flung them away.

Boy, this has screwed up my day.

I know: I'll use the extra set I made!

Or did I? Or did I? Or did I?

Where are my stupid keys?

I'll go through the house just one more time.....



They're not up on the dresser;

I've looked and they're not underneath

The bed or in the laundry.

Pardon me while I go out of my head,

While I go out of my head.

They're not in any pocket;

Thank God I didn't lock 'em in the car,

But I'm so late now,

And I'd appreciate your help

If you might have any clue

To where they are.



Where are my keys?

Come on, come on, come on,

Where are my keys?

I'd give anything if I could find my keys.

I'm asking anyone to help me please

To fi-yi-yi-yind my keys.



They're not up on the key hook,

They're not out in the garden,

They're not up on the dresser.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on

(etc.)