Lyrics:

I was always a lazy one, a Southern Californian
But I've some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixson line
So this summer just for fun hopped in my Delorian
And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time
I thought that I would be hunting and fishing
I missunderstood him somehow
So far there's nothin but chores here to mention
I'm bedding and feeding the sows

How do you milk a cow?
How do you milk a cow?
I wasn't in FFA
This cow must think I'm crazy up under it this way
I'm sittin here a pullin but there ain't nothin coming out
Oh-me-i-ee-i-o
How do you milk a cow?

I love it here in Tennesse
But these farmers all make fun of me
Can't haul much hay in a tiny sports car
So I got myself a four wheel drive, learned to spotlight deer at night
And I've got sheer-shootin right down to an art
One things for sure I hate shovelin manure
It gets all over my overall
Them horses need shoein I hear Bessy mooin so I thought maybe I'd ask you all

How do you milk a cow?
How do you milk a cow?
I think its safe to say I may get arrested for this in L.A.
This hiefer must empty cause she ain't puttin out
Oh-me-i-ee-i-o
How do you milk a cow?

How do you milk a cow?
I no longer care I'm gettin sick and tired of smellin DAIRY AIR
Heading back to Cali and turnin in my plow
Oh-me-i-ee-i-o
How do you milk a cow?