Lyrics:

I walked into the Nag's Head for to sustinate me belly
There was a fit crack in the corner but I knew her cunt was smelly
She smelt of rotting fish heads and old and crispy sick
Said her name was Charlotte and she wanted suck me dick
Oh, I thought now lad, times are hard, and it's nearly closing time
I'll put a bag on her head, and a peg on me nose
And I'll grummage through the slime...
Charlotte is the biggest slag in Macc
She'll do anything to get you in the sack
With her legs spread wide she opens up her crack
Spends her life just lying on her back
Well, we walked along, up Buxton Road
And strolled along the cut
She said 'give us an inch and I'll take you a yard.'
So I slammed her half a foot
Got me hand up her skirt 'cos I'm a Macc Lad
And I knew just what to do
I got me hand inside, and me arm inside
I lost it right up to me tattoo
Oh, Charlotte is the biggest slag in Macc
She'll do anything to get you in the sack
Coffee, sex and johnny bags come free
So crabs and herpes and VD
Oh Charlotte.....
And we ended up at her place
And I waded through the johnnies
She put another notch in her bedstead, while I watched 'The Two Ronnies'
Charlotte is the biggest slag in Macc
She lies in wait and then she springs her trap
She's always got to take the upper hand
And you are what you drink, and I'm a bitter man
Charlotte...