Lyrics:

She wore big knickers and she worked at the sewage farm.
Got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm.
But after ten pints, she looked quite fit,
Couldn't wait to get my hands on her flabby tits.
So I said, Slap that and ride the ripples,
I just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples.
Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins,
she was a mound of flesh.
Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of pies,
Sweaty Betty, she's got enormous thighs,
Sweaty Betty, have you smelled her breath?
Sweaty Betty, she'd crush a man to death.

I knew that she wanted me to shag her,
so I stabbed her cunt with my mutton dagger.
I couldn't believe the size of her bum,
She used to play for Wigan at the back of the scrum.
I've seen nowt like it since the day I was born,
But you know me, I'll shag owt that's warm.

Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of chips,
Sweaty Betty, she's got massive tits,
Sweaty Betty, she's got a huge vagina,
Sweaty Betty, you'd fit a bus inside her,
She's so obscene, three tons of margarine,
She's like a lump of lard
But Sweaty Betty makes my willy hard.