Lyrics:

She wore big knickers and she worked at the sewage farm
Got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm
But after ten pints, she looked quite fit
Couldn't wait to get my hands on her flabby tits
So I said, Slap that and ride the ripples
I just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples
Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins
She was a mound of flesh
Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of pies
Sweaty Betty, she's got enormous thighs
Sweaty Betty, have you smelled her breath?
Sweaty Betty, she'd crush a man to death
I knew that she wanted me to shag her
So I stabbed her cunt with my mutton dagger
I couldn't believe the size of her bum
She used to play for Wigan at the back of the scrum
I've seen nowt like it since the day I was born
But you know me, I'll shag owt that's warm
Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of chips
Sweaty Betty, she's got massive tits
Sweaty Betty, she's got a huge vagina
Sweaty Betty, you'd fit a bus inside her
She's so obscene, three tons of margarine
She's like a lump of lard
But Sweaty Betty makes my willy hard