Lyrics:

FZ: Okay, thank you, thank you, thank you! Alright, alright, alright! Sit down, sit down, sit down! Okay. Alright, let's get down to business, just wanna let you know, in case you-- you'd be blind not to notice this, but we are registering people to vote here. Think we did four hundred last night, and hope to exceed that this evening. But meanwhile, did everybody hear the great news today? Jimmy Swaggart under investigation! . . . Oh, Jay-ZUS! One day every one of those cock-suckers'll get caught! Now I understand in the case of Mr. Swaggart that he claims that it was not multiple encounters with many prostitutes. Apparently only one sweet young thing, and he did tell Cal Thomas of the Moral Majority that the sex act itself was not fully consummated. However he did admit to doing something pornographic with the girl. Let's use our imaginations, ladies and gentlemen . . .

In the dark
Where all the fevers grow
Under the water
Where the shark bubbles blow
In the mornin'
By yer radio
Do the walls close in t' suffocate ya
You ain't got no friends . . .
An' all the others: they hate ya
Does the life you've been leadin' gotta go?
Well, lemme straighten you out
About a place I know . . .
(Now, get yer shoes 'n socks on people,
Because it's right aroun' the corner!)
You go out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases,
Out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases

Now scientists call this miserable little disease
Podobromidrosis
And well, they should!
But us regular folks
Who might wear a tennis shoe
Or an occasional python boot
Know this exquisite little inconvenience
By the name of:
STINK FOOT
That's right!
Y'know, my python boot was too tight
Couldn't get it off last night
Week went by, now it's July
I finally got it off
An' my girl-friend cry
'You've got STINK FOOT!
STINK FOOT, darlin'
Your STINKIN' FOOT puts the hurts on my nose!
STINK FOOT! STINK FOOT! I ain't lyin',
Can you rinse it off, do you suppose?'
Well . . . Here Fido . . . Here Fido . . .
Bring the slippers, little puppy . . .
Yes, that's a good dog
Bring them over to Jimmy Swaggart, that's right
He'll do anything for a good time . . .
Sick!

FZ: Well . . . Ike Willis, ladies and gentlemen . . . Mike Keneally . . . Walt Fowler . . . Bruce Fowler . . . Paul Carman . . . Albert Wing . . . Kurt McGettrick . . . Chad Wackerman . . . Now this is a special case, ladies and gentlemen, get that spot light over here, this is Ed Mann. Now, Ed had a tragic experience a few moments ago. One of the loyal fans in the audience came up and treated him like a war criminal because he fucked up the lick on 'Dickie's Such An Asshole' way back when--who knows?--several weeks ago. But the people who come to these shows listen so carefully to every little detail that this man was deeply offended by Ed's performance. So to make sure that he gets his money's worth tonight, we're gonna dwell on it for a few moments now, and have Ed actually practice, kinda warm up for that big lick that happens in 'Dickie's Such An Asshole.' We're gonna rehearse it right now, ready? Just do it as a solo, here we go . . . or . . .
Ed: Or the way we did it that night, which of course was completely wrong. This is how it went . . .
FZ: Or . . .