Lyrics:

(Brooks Buford) W-F-U-K AM 420 now interrupts your regular radio programming for broadcast of the One Duck County Demon game.

Chuck Janke (Brooks Buford): Hey pussies, and welcome to the first game of the new season. I'm Chuck Janke.

Wink Dinkerson (Danny Boone): And this is Wink Dinkerson. I tell ya, it was a rough year for our guys last season.

CJ: Sure was. Well, it started off good, but then just went to straight fecal matter thrown into a DC-10 engine, if ya know what I mean!

WD: Yeah, some real turd action.

CJ: Yeah, a shit-twister, if you will!

WD: Yeah, I heard Danny Boone had stomach surgery.

CJ: Sure did.

WD: Apparently his liver fell out in his Warner Robbins home.

CJ: God, what a dick.

WD: Really.

CJ: Yeah, Brooks Buford ended up in the ER with a hole in his nose.

WD: Yeah, and we all know what that was from.

CJ: We sure do. God, what an asshole.

WD: Who does he think he is? Darryl Strawberry? Geeze louise.

CJ: Yeah, he's a little Robert Downey, Jr. Yeah, well, it looks like they're about to come out on the field now.

WD: Well, folks, let's hope for a better season than the last. America -

CJ: Tell 'em Wink.

WD: Heeeeeeeeeeeeere come the Demons!