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Songs | Albums | Album Arts
Lyricist: Frank Zappa
Lyrics:
FZ--guitar, vocals Sal Marquez--trumpet, vocals Jean-Luc Ponty--violin George Duke--keyboards, vocals Ian Underwood--woodwinds, synthesizer Ruth Underwood--percussion Bruce Fowler--trombone Tom Fowler--bass Ralph Humphrey--drums
No, no, don't eat it No, no, don't eat it No, no, don't eat it No, no, don't eat it
Dreamed I was an Eskimo Frozen wind began to blow Under my boots 'n around my toe Frost had bit the ground below Was a hundred degrees below zero And my momma cried: Nanook! Nanook! Nanook! Nanook! Nanook! No no Save your money: don't go to the show And I turned around an' I said: HO HO An' the Northern Lites commenced t' glow An' she looked at me with a tear in her eye And she said: WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO AN' DON'T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO AN' DON'T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW
Well right about that time, people, A fur trapper Who was strictly from commercial (Strictly Commershil) Had the unmedicated audacity to jump up from behind my igyaloo (Peek-a-Boo Woo-ooo-ooo) And he started in to whippin' on my fav'rite baby seal With a lead-filled snow shoe . . . I said: With a lead LEAD Filled LEAD-FILLED With a lead-filled snow shoe SNOW SHOE Peak-a-boo PEEK-A-BOO With a lead LEAD With a lead-filled LEAD-FILLED With a lead-filled snow shoe SNOW SHOE And he said Peak-a-boo. PEEK-A-BOO He jumped up from behind my igyaloo And he said Peak-a-boo With a lead-filled snow shoe Right on Right upside the head of my favorite baby seal He said Peak-a-boo With a lead-filled snow shoe Hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin You know that got me just about as evil As an Eskimo boy can be . . .
Got me evil as an Eskimo boy can be So I reached down with my patented Nanook of the North whale blubber mitten And I scooped down 'n I reached down 'n I bent down An' I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly . . . YELLOW SNOW The deadly Yellow Snow from right there where the huskies go And then, in a fit of anger I pounced And I pounced again I jumped up 'n down on the chest of the . . . I injured the fur trapper And then I took my mitten with The deadly Yellow Snow Crystals And I proceeded to rub it all into his beady little eyes With a vigorous circular motion Hitherto unknown to Sydney But destined to take the place of THE MUD SHARK In your mythology Here it is, hey!
Really cheap, isn't it? God damn , that's cheap That's so cheap we're gonna do it again . . . That's enough. Okay.
Well, by that time The extract of the Northern dog Had induced in the fur trapper A terrible case of temporary Snow blindness And he turned around And he said: I CAN'T SEE (I CAN'T SEE . . . TEMPORARILY) I CAN'T SEE (I CAN'T SEE . . . TEMPORARILY) WHAT IF THERE'S SOMETHING GOOD ON TV (I . . . I CAN'T SEE . . . TEMPORARILY) AND I CAN'T SEE (I . . . I CAN'T SEE . . . TEMPORARILY) He took a dog . . . a dog-doo sno-cone An' stuffed it in my right eye An' he took a dog-doo sno-cone An' stuffed it in my other eye An' the huskie wee-wee, I mean the doggie wee-wee Has blinded me Temporarily And, oh, lord, I can't see Well here we have a deflicted fur trapper, folks Wandering around in the middle of the Desolate Northern wasteland Can't tell where he's going And he wants to get home in time to watch something good on TV Well, he doesn't know it but he's got a lot of time But he . . . maybe there's something that he likes He has to fix up his eyes before he can watch the television so Scratches underneath of his parka Tries to figure out what he's gonna do And remembers an ancient Eskimo legend Where it is, it is written On the little things that they write it on, whatever they are That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes As the result of physical combat With anybody named Nanook And if therefore He rubs some dog doo crystals in your eye And you have problems (It actually says this, folks!) That the only way that you can fix it up Is you gotta go trudgin' across the tundra . . . Mile after mile All the way down to the Columbia River delta It's really funky down there, I'm tellin' ya And he's gotta go down to find The parish of Saint Alfonzo Saint Alfonzo was the patron saint of The smelt fishermen of Portuguese extraction And he's gotta bust into the pantry At Saint Alfonzo's parish And he's got to locate A mysterious elixir Disguised as a box of mar-juh-rene And his instructions are To rub it on his deflicted eyes Until some sort of miraculous cure will take place In the next episode We follow the fur trapper as he trudges across the tundra Direct to Saint Alfonzo's parish And it goes something like this . . . Hoopla!
Well, here we are At Saint Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast Where I stole the mar-juh-rene An' widdled on the Bingo Cards in lieu of the latrine I saw a handsome parish lady Make her entrance like a queen Why she was totally chenille And her old man was a Marine As she abused a sausage pattie And said why don't you treat me mean? Hurt me (hurt me!), hurt me (hurt me!), hurt me, oooooh! At Saint Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast (Hah! Good God! Get off the bus!) Where I sto-o-ole . . . Where I sto-ole . . . Where I sto-o-o-wo-wo-wole . . . Woo woo woo . . . The mar-juh-rene
Yeah, I made it down to Saint Alfonzo's parish, I did Made it into the pantry down there I finally discovered what I was looking for I groped my way past the peas, and I groped my way past the asparagus And I groped my way past the cauliflower Groped my way and I groped my way I don't mind groping my way And I groped my way and I found the mar-juh-rene There it was, there was a little left over from the pancake breakfast Reached in Pulled out a lump of the stuff Then I rubbed it on my right hand eye And I took it and I Rubbed it on my left hand eye Started feeling a little bit better And I contemplated on the mystery and the majesty of the mar-juh-rene I said to myself the 'M' . . . The 'M' of mar-juh-rene Must under these circumstances Symbolize 'Marsupial' And the 'A' under these circumstances Must symbolize The constellation of Andromeda And the 'R' Under these circumstances Must constitute-- 'Ridiculous' Which is what these circumstances actually are! Then there's a hyphen 'M-A-R' Don't lose the continuity, folks, there's a 'M-A-R,' hyphen And as I said last night And I'll say it again because I liked it The first hyphen in mar-juh-rene Could be used for erotic gratification By a very desperate stenographer 'M-A-R,' hyphen, 'J' . . . 'J' . . . Wha-- What's a 'J' tonight, uh . . . 'J' is for Jesus, and we all know he loves you, ha ha ha ha . . . Well, some of you people will go for that and some of you won't What's the difference? Just thought I'd throw it in. Then there's a 'U' That 'U' is for everybody who believes what the 'J' stood for And also we have a subordinate 'U' for the rest of you who go, 'Huh?' And then there's an 'H' which stands for Or used to about two years ago, stand for 'homunculus' And then there's another hyphen 'M-A-R,' hyphen, 'J-U-H,' hyphen The second hyphen tonight, ladies and gentlemen Could be used Could be used . . . Ha ha ha . . . It could be used on you if you bent right over And then--if you were very short, of course And sensitive 'M-A-R,' hyphen, 'J-U-H,' hyphen, 'R' There's another 'R' This 'R' will stand for 'Rebus,' which is a puzzle with pictures in it Then there's an 'E' It's a very long obnoxious 'E' to the nth degree And then there's an 'N' Which is the 'N' of the 'E' with the nth degree And then there's a tiny weeny dwindling-off little 'E' on the end of the thing By the time I'd finished spelling mar-juh-rene Correctly, including two hyphens My eyes felt a lot better and I was ready for the next part of the song
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