Lyrics:

Widow Jones couldn't make it on her own
Frank was 'electrified leaving six kids half grown
In her misery she sent for me the singer of sad songs
And I sympathized and eulogized Frank Jones

And she cried singer of sad songs
I need your services today
Doctor of broken hearts I'll wash your clothes
And mend your socks for your pay

Farmer Brown had always dreamed of city lights
Mini skirts on pretty girls were in his sights
So one early morn he left his corn to harvest a field of sin
Mrs. Brown called me shortly after three a.m..


Lovely Lucy sat there sipping a glass of wine
She was at the church waiting till after nine
But the groom to be was somewhere free with a case of yellow spine
Lovely Lucy she's still a virgin and that's a crime