Lyrics:

You met her at a party on Saturday night
She was drinkin' advocaat
Her skin was smooth and her jeans were tight
You didn't think she'd go that far
She mighta looked like a princess
But why'd you have to give her your address
Cos you ain't safe when you get home
She's gonna call you on the telephone

Hey boy that's Balwyn callin'
Hey boy that's Balwyn callin'
Hey boy that's Balwyn callin'
Get on the phone and do a bit of stallin'

It was just too easy when you got to her flat
And she kicked off her platform shoes
And you played around like a cat and a rat
And now you've got the Balwyn blues
Well you thought she ould be a one nighter
But she wants to squeeze you tighter
Cos you ain't safe when you get home
She's gonna call you on the telephone

She sure knows when she's got a good catch
And she just won't let go
She's been searchin' for the perfect match
Her ambition with your dough
A brick veneer prison is waitin' for you
But you just smile while she turns the screw
And you ain't safe when you get home she
She's gonna call you on the telephone

Hey boy that's Balwyn calling X 3
Get off the phone and get out of Balwyn