Lyrics:

musicians 1973:
FZ--lead guitar/vocal
Napoleon Murphy Brock--sax/vocal
George Duke--keyboard/vocal
Ruth Underwood--percussion
Bruce Fowler--trombone
Tom Fowler--bass
Chester Thompson--drums
Ralph Humphrey--drums
+
Marty Perellis--announcement
Lewis Saul--voice

The Palladium Dressing Room, NYC
October 31, 1977

voices 1977:
Terry Bozzio
Roy Estrada
Adrian Belew

Marty Perellis: Okay, hold your applause for one second. Alright, we can come up and do another encore provided everybody provides with the liquor laws, so, pass any glasses that are on the table to the end of the aisle and Mario'll let us do another encore, so just, anybody with a glass: Don't give the waitress a hard time, just pass the glasses to the end of the aisle so the bus boys and waitresses can get it, and don't say it's the last sip. Okay, and once again: Frank Zappa and The Mothers Of Invention!

FZ: Thank you!
Crowd: 'Zomby Woof'! 'I'm The Slime'! 'Zomby Woof'!
FZ: No!
Crowd: Yeah!
FZ: Listen
Crowd: 'Louie Louie'! 'My Boyfriend's Back'!
FZ: Ah, they're going to ah, reload the cameras and we're gonna do a special, 'nuther special number for you, ladies and gentlemen
Lewis: 'Dwarf Nebula Processional March & Dwarf Nebula'!
Crowd: 'Louie Louie'! 'LOUIE LOUIE'!
FZ: That was quite an experience. 'Dwarf Nebula'! Good God! Have you been there too? Alright! It's audience participation time again, ladies and gentlemen. The name of this song is, 'Dickie's Such An Asshole,' and cancel that for television too, and here's how, here's how the ending goes, and you can sing along. It goes:

DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE
Sincerely, Dick, we mean it!
Wee-ooo

FZ: Alright, we don't need to practice that, you know, I'm sure you got the lick down just like 'El Monte,' I'll show you where it comes. It's right at the end of the song, just where all those endings belong. (Let's give it right to them! Give it to them. I mean: this is going to them.) Good Lord, we're so professional!

One 'n one is eleven!
Two 'n two is twenty-two!
Won't somebody kindly tell me,
What the government's tryin' t' do . . .
Dickie's just too tricky
For a chump like me to use
Well, you'd take that sub-committee serious, boy
You might get a seizure from the evenin' news

Well, yeah, yeah,
Millions 'n millions of dollars . . .
Much as he might need . . .
He could open up a chain of motels, people,
On the highway, yes indeed!

Quadrophonic desperation!
You know, there'd be a cable all under your bed
Well, if you just might break some wind in your slumber
The FBI is gonna get your number

GONNA GET YA
GONNA GET YA
GONNA JUMP UP THE SUB-COMMITTEE AND GET YA!

GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
DONE GOT YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
DONE GOT YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER

GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER

Tryin' not to worry
Tryin' not to care
But you know, I get delighted
When some microphone's not there

Can't have no private conversations
Nowhere
In the USA
Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the the world
Find out that their government
Is just the same ol' way
Yeah, every day . . .

Let me tell you one thing right now
Let me tell you one thing right here
Let me make this perfectly clear
Let me tell you 'bout this right here
You know you put me in office
So you must have wanted me in office
I've did you no harm
You know I'm not a crook
You know I'm innocent
I had twenty-five tapes
I only have ten
I don't know what happened to the rest
Musta gave 'em to a friend
Bebe
Somebody
Ronald
Somebody
Who
Was it?
Who?
We know you're not a crook
We know you're not a crook
All we wanna say is one more thing now:

The gangster stepped right up,
Kissed him on the lip good-bye
Made him a cocksucker by proxy, yes he did,
An' he didn't even bat an eye!

The man in the White House -- oh!
He's got a conscience -- oh!
He's got a conscience as black as sin!
There's just one thing I wanna know --
How'd that asshole ever manage to get in?

FZ: Here it comes, ladies and gentlemen, sing right along:

DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE
Sincerely, Dick, we mean it
Wee-ooo

?: You missed your girl out there . . .
Terry: Lemme tell ya . . . I love this man, I work for this man, but this show has like pushed me beyond the brink of what I can physically . . .
Roy: WHOAAAH!
Terry: Withstand. (Sigh) My hands are . . . I mean, look at these calluses! Jesus Christ! I've had a hard tour, I mean, Jesus, we had the, the, the fucking roadmanager committed suicide
Adrian: Oh Terry!
Terry: Then my girlfriend fell out the fuckin' window
Adrian: Oh Terry!
Terry: I mean, it's been hard, you know, and, and now man! I mean, shit, this fuckin' shit, I mean, we have to do two, two fuckin' shows, two nights in a row! You know what it's like to beat the shit out of the fuckin' drums, two shows . . .
Adrian: Two nights in a row!
Terry: . . . two nights in a row!? I MEAN I CAN'T FUCKIN' TAKE THAT KINDA SHIT!
Adrian: HE CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! He can't take it anymore, look at his hands . . .
Terry: My hands, hey, I feel like I've been pounding nails, I feel like I've been hittin' my goddamn hands with a hammer!