Lyrics:

'He's white, Jim . . . '

Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Am I really that bad?
HE'S BAD, HE'S BAD, HE'S BAD

'I think you're a jerk! I'm moving from you!'
'Make me a sandwich.'
'Moving to Venice.'
'I'll be black.'
(Jack! What?)
'Still white, Jim . . . '

I hate my mother
I hate my father
I AM my sister . . .
And Jermaine is a negro!
A NEGRO! A NEGRO! A NEGRO!

'I thought he looked good -- what happened to you?'
'Please read this pamphlet.'
'I'm so BAD!'

You take the monkey, I'll take the llama,
We'll have a party: get me a Pepsi --
Michael is Janet, Janet is Michael --
I'm so confused now --
Who is Diana?

He's oxygenated
His nose is deflated
And he thinks he looks good to you
He thinks he looks good to you

Ike: Oh, I'm sorry . . .
FZ: This is supposed to be the part where I . . . name people who are not . . . related in any particular way to . . . Michael Jackson . . . so . . . oh, let's see now, who could it be . . . uh . . . What's your name . . . ? His name is Bob? Bob is not the illegitimate son of Michael Jackson, take it from me . . .

Billy Jean is not Mr. Bob
Arnold Silvestri . . . (Ha ha ha!)
Billy Jean isn't Arnold Silvestri
Jeanne Kirkpatrick . . .
Billy Jean is not Kirkpatrick
Lando Calrissian . . .

Give me oxygen
Give me oxygen
Give me oxygen
Box o' turds

FZ: That's right, a box o' turds!