Lyrics:

My first crush on an Irish girl
I was ten years old
And her name was Elaine
Little redhead girl
Well, she looked like you
But if you were ten
..Which you're clearly not
-Not that you look old..
But you get my..

I'll just stop now

Ok, wait, cause I had a point
No, I swear I did
Well, I think I did
Which is: All my life
Or since I was ten
I have had a yen
For an Irish lass
Because God knows why,
Like the ancient curse of the Shiska Queen
-Do I talk to much?

Which is not to say
That I want Elaine
Who turned out to be,
When I last checked in
A Republican
And a parapsychologist

If you've got a four leaf clover
You can make my dreams come true
I will be your Hebrew slave,
Just do the things that Irish girls do
Talk about Potato Famine
I begin to cry on cue
Sing about the Emerald Isle
And get your Irish eyes to smiling
I could be in love with someone like you..

I just left a relationship
With a lovely girl named Melissa Lavine
It was really great
It was all my fault
I just got upset
'Cause she slept with my brother

So I made a vow not to get caught up
In the dating scene
Or the whole routine
With the cousin's friend
Or the who knows what
Like I need that shit
I've got marks to make
I've got steps to climb
It's the perfect time -
I've got books to write
I've got things to do
I go out my door and bump into you
And the jig is up and my vow is through
I don't know what I'm doing
But come in and ruin me!

I will write my own Ulysses
If you're there to show me how
Take me back to Gloccamora
Bathe me in the river Shannondough
If you'll be Mrs. O'Leary
Baby I will be your cow
I'll deliver shamrocks baby
Buy your pa a new shillelagh
I could be in love with someone like you..

Could be my inspiration
And get my past this block
And walk me to the great unknown
You - could be my true salvation
Unchain me from this rock
And keep me from being alone
'Cause I'm no good at being alone!

Take me to another level
Let me play in bigger halls
I will do river dance
As long as you keep answering my calls

Get me out of my apartment
Keep me from my empty walls
Someone hire John McCormick
Start the wearing of the green
Let me win the Irish sweepstakes
Let me take you home, Kathleen
I could be in love with someone
I could be in love with someone
I could be in love with someone like you!