Lyrics:

I'm the duke of nothing
I'm the sultan of sans
The-the king of diddly
I'm the shell of a man
I'm the emperor of zip
The leader of nought

I'm the god of zilch
A vacuum of thought
Yeah!
Here lies
Here lies
The jack of fuck all
The master of none

The champion of nada
A neglectable sum

I'm yesterday's news
Tomorrow's chip paper

I'm in between jobs
And I will be later-ter-ter
Yeah!

Here lies
Here lies
A drop in the ocean
A shadow in the night

A wheel with no motion
A dog with no (bark!) bite

The deputy manager's assistant's
Assistant's, assistant's, assistant's, assistant's
Assistant's, assistant's, assistant's, assistant
Don't like, don't listen
Yeah!

Here lies
Here lies
Here lies
Here lies