Lyrics:

I never thought I'd wind up in a lousy little place like this
There's a girl with green teeth and she's gettin' kinda hard to resist
There's a shot for me sittin on the stage
And tonight I'm feelin my age
I never thought I'd wind up in a lousy little place like this
I never thought I'd play on a tiny little stage like this
We got good songs and I can't figure why they ain't hits
I could get to first base on my looks
If I could stand on telephone books
I never thought I'd play on a tiny little stage like this
I always thought I'd hitch up with a real pretty gal like you
But I wound up with a shrew and she's always tellin me what to do
I'd like to ask you for a date
But I can't afford to get home late
I guess I'll never hitch up with a real pretty gal like you
I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this
Every time we take a bow the audience starts to hiss
I'd quit the band if I had the nerve
But I guess I'm gettin' what I deserve
I never thought I'd wind up in a crappy little band like this