Lyrics:

raise your glass

we have incorporated

place your bets

we're all so sick of waiting

queen takes jack

a lucky guess could land you in the sack

so pick a number



to all the ones who tried the most was i supposed to cheer your efforts

sorry that i chose so poorly

golly gee am i the poster girl



lift your hats

off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs

theyd make an angels skin crawl

if you ask them for assistance

theres an even chance

they'll call your number



she's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places

the kind who comes to poker with her pockets stuffed with aces

she's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining

just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling

(interlude)

to all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masturbate them

i've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient

to all the ones that hated me the most a toast

you really had me going for a second i was nervous boy am i the poster girl



so raise the stakes

im very confident in my mistakes

ive made so many of them

all it takes is mere suggestion and my poor heart breaks

im such a baby



shes the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the artschool dumpster

the kind who tells you shes bipolar just to make you trust her

shes the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser

just to make you jealous of the men she fucked befor you met her

to all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess

who was mine in '99 i want last names and current status

to all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for second i was

nervous boy am i the poster girl for some suburban sickness better keep a healthy distance

now its up to you know what to do its pretty