Lyrics:

*Laughter*I know a fat ole policeman, he''s always on our streetA fat old, jolly red-faced man, he really is a treatHe''s too fine for a policeman, he''s never known to frownAnd everybody says he is the happiest man in town*Laughter*He laughs upon his duty, he laughs upon his beatHe laughs at everybody when he''s walking in the streetHe never can stop laughing, he says he''d never triedBut once he did arrest a man and laughed until he died*Laughter*Oh, His jolly face had wrinkled, and then he shut his eyesHe opened his great mouth, it was a wonderous sizeHe said ''I must arrest you,''? I didn''t know what forAnd then he starting laughing, until he cracked his jaw*Laughter*So if you chance to meet him while walking ''?round the townJust shake him by his ole fat hand and give him have a crowdHis eyes beam and sparkle, he''ll gurgle with delightAnd then you''ll start him laughing, with all his blessed might