Lyrics:

Performed by Adam Sandler, David Spade, Tim Herlihy, Steve Koren, and Tim Meadows

[Typical library sounds, squeekin chairs/doors]

[Talking quietly]
M1: 'Ms. Murphy is such a pain, man.'
M2: 'We just had a test a week ago. Now we gotta take another one tommorrow. This sucks!'
M1: 'And it counts for 80 percent of our grade.'
M2: 'Well we better study our butts off.'
M1: 'Well we came to the right place, the ever so quiet library.'
M2: 'Ok, enough talking, let's study!'
M1: 'All right.'
[Turning pages]

[Heavy steps]
M2: 'Uh oh'
M1: 'Oh no! Fatty McGee is coming. We'll never get any studying done with him in the library.'
[Heavy steps continue]
M2: 'Oh god, he's taking the stairs! That means he's going to be way out of breath!'

[Fatty whining, try to catch breath]
M1: 'Oh no, he's going to sit with us.'
Fatty: [Annoying whining voice] 'Hey fellas, studying for the big test?'
M1: 'Uh, yes Fatty, we were.'
Fatty: [Still trying to catch breath] 'Great! I'll join ya.'
[Fatty pulls out chair and falls into it, still whining horribly]
M2: 'Hey Fatty, why don't you go to the bathroom 'till you catch your breath?'
Fatty: 'No, no, I'm catching it!'
[Fatty continuing to whine and snort]
M1: 'Ok, ok Fatty, but try to keep the wheezing level down, we're trying to concentrate.'
Fatty: [Continuing to wheeze and whine louder] 'Sure, no problem.'
M1: 'Oh man.'
Fatty: [Still snorting and whining loudly] 'This test counts for eighty percent of our grade, you know.'
[Whining continues even louder]
M1: 'Yes Fatty, we know, we just said that.'
[Wheezing continues a little softer]
M2: 'Fatty! Please keep it down!'

[Fatty makes snoring/whining sounds]

M2: 'Is he sleeping!?'
M1: 'No, it's his deviated sceptum. Seriously Fatty, keep the breathing down.' [Snoring stops, more weird noise starts]
M2: 'Ahh geez Fatty, what's wrong with you!?'
Fatty: [Pausing, snorting] 'I'm trying.'
[Whining continues]
M1: 'Fatty, you know what's going to happen! Stop breathing so heavy! Please we gotta study!'
[Whining gets higher and higher until it's continuous]
M2: 'Oh no, that one's going to do it!'

[Fire alarm sounding, fire trucks honking their horns, sirens reeling]
M2: 'Fatty, the fire department thinks the fire alarm went off again!'
Fatty: [Continuing his LOUD annoying whine] 'I'm sorry!'
Fireman Ray: 'Fire! Man the building!'
M1: 'Sorry Fireman Ray, it's not the fire alarm.'
Fireman Ray: 'Fatty McGee, is that you again!?'
Fatty: [Stillin whining annoyingly] 'Yes.' [Snort] 'Sorry.' [Snort]
Fireman Ray: 'Didn't we tell you not to take the stairs anymore!?'
Fatty: [Whiney voice] 'But I like the stairs!'
Fireman Ray: [annoyed] 'Why!?'
Fatty: [Still whining horribly] 'They're fun!'
Fireman Ray: 'Oh Fatty McGee, you're the fattest!'
[Everyone laughing at stupid joke]
[Raspberry]