Lyrics:

Frank Zappa--guitar & vocal
Ian Underwood--electric piano
George Duke--trombone
Jeff Simmons--bass
Aynsley Dunbar--drums
with The Phlorescent Leech & Eddie--vocals

Remember Freddie and Jo?
The night you went to the show?
(A monster movie);
Clutchin' at yer hand
(Wait ten seconds)
Clutchin' at yer arm
(Wait ten seconds)
Clutchin' at yer elbow--
(Wait ten seconds)
Where did your brassiere go?
When the monster came out,
'N everybody shout!
People all around you,
Screamin' at the monster;
The Monster From The U.S.O.

Who's this dude with his hair straight back?
His new white socks, 'n his pants all black;
His T-shirts rolled--
His watch is gold--
A '55 Chevy that his brother just stoled,
With his arm's around yer waist--
An' his hand is in yer pants--
An' he asks you for a date
To the servicemen's dance!

Suppose you don't wanna?
What can you do?
When a joker like that
Got his hands on you--
Oh, baby!
T-T-T-Tell me baby,
Would you go all the way
For the U.S.O.?
Would you go all the way
For the U.S.A.?
Would you go all the way
For the U.S.O.?
Lift up your dress, if the answer is 'no' . . .

Would you go all the way
For the U.S.A.?
Would you go all the way
For the U.S.A.?
Would you go all the way
For the U.S.A.?
Would you go all the way?
Would you go all the way?

Would you go all the way
For the U.S.A.?
Would you go all the way
For the U.S.A.?
Would you go all the way
For the U.S.A.?
Would you go all the way?
Would you go all the way?
Would you go all the way?
Would you go all the way?