Lyrics:

'So, I mean, everybody pretty much knows one of my aliases is Stretch Nuts, right? You know what I’m sayin’? And I really can’t tell you why I never really elaborated on it, but, but I will, man. I will'

36 inches, bitch! And that’s only a smidgen
Me and my droopy sack, you know the legend
Still talk about nuts, I'm older than Rick Flair
Is that a water balloon hangin’ out a patch of dick hair? (Nope!)
My ball sack was blessed by the Pope
T double O or T-W-O (Dope!)
I double Dutch jump my junk. Fuck rope!
And I sucker punchin’ chumps and punks and cut throats (Nope!)
You don’t want nothin’ like a hairy vagina
I’ll stretch my scrotum from here to China
My nuts got stuck in my fuckin’ recliner
Behind ‘em, Big Poppa Pump (Scott Steiner!)
I got my carabiner Mace (Sting!)
Dropped like a rock in a sock (Boing!)
Popped in my shiner face (Ping!)
Dropped two rocks down a tube sock (Boing, boing!)
Four fat hood rats swingin’ off my scrotum
Ah! Get off it! (“Just wanna hold ‘em!”)
The testic-elastic even smashed and swollen
Nut sack gymnastics, I snatch the gold one

When I was young, my nuts hung (Low)
You might say much lower than some (Oh?)
Down to the floor like a wore-out bungee cord (Yeah?)
Some say (Yeah?) a legend was born (Oh!)
All hail Stretch Nuts!
A bitch bound to faint at the slightest sight (Yup!)
All hail Stretch Nuts!
You play your cards right, they’re yours tonight (That’s right)

Every time we fuck, we both get stuck
Entangled, near strangled in my ball
Took my nuts up a slut’s butt (Her booty hole walls?)
It’s fruity, though, like bananas and lemon
Grapes and peaches, sweet watermelon
It's Rudy's old ho, might wanna tell him
Ah wait, can’t reach him, ‘cause he caught a felon
A beauty ho got a tight na-na like Ellen
But I hate the screechin’ and all the yellin’
Stretch Nuts, bitch! Shaggy Shaggs the clown
Short shorts! My nut bag drags the ground
Double take! Make sure it’s no fags around
Lay down, ho! (Bloop) You hear the tea baggin’ sound?
My nut bag, like two cue balls in some panty hose (Whoa!)
Extra young speedos? Shit, hand me those
Fuck fine bitches! Give me gigantic hoes
That’s all right! My dick is like sand in toes
You like it rough, bitch? You get punched in that pussy
Fuck a tight tummy. Give me fat and mushy
I eat your whole butt crack out of that tushie
I’m Shaggy. My whole nut bag extra bushy
Fuck clippers. I like my pubes caught in zippers
I hate feather weights. Give me A-scale tippers
Hump jump and flop, like I'm on Mars
Then I bring home sluts swingin’ on my nuts like Tarzan

When I was young, my nuts hung (Low)
You might say much lower than some (Oh?)
Down to the floor like a wore-out bungee cord (Yeah?)
Some say (Yeah?) a legend was born (Oh!)
All hail Stretch Nuts!
A bitch bound to faint at the slightest sight (Yup!)
All hail Stretch Nuts!
You play your cards right, they’re yours tonight (That’s right)