Lyrics:

In the boarding house I live in, Everything was growing old;Silver threads among the butter, And the cheese was green with moldWhen the dog died we had sausages; When the cat died catnip teaWhen the landlord died I left there, Spareribs were too much for meOh my Dear Missus Crandall, I think I like you a lot;I live in your house, Quiet as a mouseSome day you&ampapos;ll be caughtGirls can never change their natureIt is well beyond their reach;Missus Crandall is a lemon, She can never be a peachBut the law of compensation is the one I always preach;You can always squeeze a lemon, Have you tried to squeeze a peach?Oh my Dear Missus Crandall, I think I like you a lot;I live in your house, Quiet as a mouseSome day you&ampapos;ll be caughtMy train was in the station, I was rushing full of care;But I stepped on her cat and stumbled, And fell headlong down the stairsMissus Crandall came up to me, &ampapos;Did you miss a step, me son?&ampapos;&ampapos;No,&ampapos;My dear landlady, I hit every bloomin&ampapos; oneOh my Dear Missus Crandall, I think I like you a lot;I live in your house, Quiet as a mouseSome day you&ampapos;ll be caught