Lyrics:

I once had a pig that loved meAnd lived in a shed in the countryIn a middle class district of Dumfries,But a sad kind of pig was he.Pigs can''t swim and Pigs can''t fly,But pigs can see the wind go by.Pigs make lovely household friendsWhen winter comes and summer ends.Early in the morningSo early in the morningSo early in the morningBefore the break of day.Each week that lofty beastieWould beg with eyes so mistyTo take him over to England,His life dreams to fulfil.He''d plunge into the channel;Swim to France would be his gamble.Florence Chadwick couldn''t hold a candleTo such a daring Pig as he!''Are you tired of me?'' I asked him;''Will our friendship not be lastin''?''But he told me I was graspin''And he needed to be free''So will you take me there tomorrow?''''In a pig''s eye,'' I said with sorrow.So he drowned himself in the bathtub (naughty boy!)And I had pork chops for my tea.