Lyrics:

I play in a band **lf****lf**We&ampapos;re the best in the land **lf****lf**We&ampapos;re big in both Chelsea and France **lf****lf**I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar **lf****lf**There&ampapos;s a line of chicks waiting for their chance **lf****lf**So come on now honey, I&ampapos;ll make you feel pretty **lf****lf**These other gals mean nothing to me **lf****lf**Let&ampapos;s finish these drinks and be gone for the night **lf****lf**&ampapos;Cause I&ampapos;m more than a handfull you&ampapos;ll see **lf****lf****lf****lf**[CHORUS:]**lf****lf**So kiss me I&ampapos;m shitfaced **lf****lf**I&ampapos;m Soaked I&ampapos;m soiled and brown **lf****lf**in the trousers she kissed me**lf****lf**And I only bought her one round **lf****lf****lf****lf**I can bench press a car **lf****lf**I&ampapos;m an ex football star **lf****lf**with degrees from both harvard and yale **lf****lf**Girls just can&ampapos;t keep up **lf****lf**I&ampapos;m a really love machine **lf****lf**I&ampapos;ve had far better sex while in jail **lf****lf**I designed the Sears tower **lf****lf**I make two grand an hour **lf****lf**I cook the world&ampapos;s best duck flambe **lf****lf**I&ampapos;ll take the pick of the LITTER**lf****lf**And girls jockey for me **lf****lf**I don&ampapos;t need these lines to get laid **lf****lf****lf****lf**[CHORUS]**lf****lf****lf****lf**I&ampapos;m the man of the night **lf****lf**A real ladies delight **lf****lf**See, my figure was chisEled from stone **lf****lf**One more for the gal then I&ampapos;ll escort her home **lf****lf**Come last call, I&ampapos;m never alone**lf****lf**I own a house on the hill with a red water bed **lf****lf**It puts Hugh Hefner&ampapos;s mansion to shame **lf****lf**With girls by the pool and italian sports cars **lf****lf**I&ampapos;m just here in this dump for the gain **lf****lf****lf****lf**[CHORUS x2]**lf****lf****lf****lf**Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shittin&ampapos;? **lf****lf****lf****lf**I&ampapos;m a pitiful SIGHT**lf****lf**And I ain&ampapos;t all that bright **lf****lf**I&ampapos;m definitly not chisEled from stone **lf****lf**I&ampapos;m a cheat and a liar **lf****lf**No womAn&ampapos;s desire **lf****lf**I&ampapos;ll probably die cold and alone **lf****lf****lf****lf**But just give me a chance **lf****lf**Cause deep down inside **lf****lf**I swear I got a big heart of gold **lf****lf**I&ampapos;m a monogamous man **lf****lf**No more one night stands **lf****lf**Come on, Honey let me take you home