Lyrics:

I am a dull and simple ladCannot tell water from champagneAnd I have never met the QueenAnd I wish I could have all he has got -I wish I could be like David WattsAnd when I lie on my pillow at nightI dream I could fight like David WattsAnd lead the school team to victoryTake my exams and pass the lotHe is the head boy at the schoolHe is the captain of the teamHe is so gay and fancy freeAnd I wish I could have all he has gotI wish I could be like David WattsAnd all the girls in the neighbourhoodTry to go out with David WattsThe try their best but can''t succeedFor he is of pure and noble breed