Lyrics:

(difford/tilbrook)**lf**Warning: these lyrics are unconfirmed and may be inaccurate. they represent the best attempt at deciphering the song we have yet to see.**lf****lf****lf**She used to do a topless down at the surrey docks**lf**With tassels on her what''sits she did a t''riffic job**lf**Of raising all the eyebrows of every lunchtime mob**lf**She went with all the tossers who kick about a ball**lf**They say their club''s the greatest, and she has kissed them all**lf**At the arndale center, she''s up against the wall**lf**I can''t name names cause that''s not cricket**lf**I can''t name names that would put me in it**lf**But that''s another story in the finish**lf**I saw them at the pictures a tangled heap of love**lf**He had so many women, but only classy stuff**lf**I saw him at the clinic, a pink card up his cuff**lf**One holiday in bognor a stag night hit the town**lf**The groom is in the car park with his trousers down**lf**But that''s another story that won''t be going round**lf**I can''t name names cause that''s not cricket**lf**I can''t name names that would put me in it**lf**But that''s another story in the finish**lf****lf**The deptford had a beano to southend for the night**lf**With 40 crates of lager, to see the southend lights**lf**The got home for their breakfast pissed out of their minds**lf**This girl gave me the minces so I asked her for a dance**lf**And in the death I kissed her and so I took a chance**lf**And when I went to touch her, she tried to break my arm**lf**I can''t name names cause that''s not cricket**lf**I can''t name names that would put me in it**lf**But that''s another story in the finish