Lyrics:

He used to travel in bath cubes
Until the slump came
Faced with redundancy he turned his mind to other things
And soon became a household name

Knicker elastic
Everybody used it
Knicker elastic
Nobody refused it
Knicker Elastic King, the Knicker Elastic King

A self-made man with a business to run
and something to sell to everyone
The Knicker Elastic King

He grew so rich the Gnomes of Zurich
Were green with envy (ahhh ahhh)
The darling of the Stock Exchange
Made the New Year's Honours List
And won the Queen's Award to Industry

Knicker Elastic
Essence of propriety
Knicker Elastic
Upholder of society
The Knicker Elastic King,
Ooo la la

His rubber business kept expanding
But then disaster (Ee bah gum!)

The price of raw materials
Coupled with inflation
Squeezed his global holdings
His liquid assets bottomed out
And shrunk his retail outlet
... operation

And that's the story of the
Knicker Elastic King (and market forces)
The Knicker Elastic King ('horses for courses')
A self-made man with a business to run
And something to sell to everyone
Knicker Elastic King
Ooo la la
The Knicker Elastic King