Lyrics:

I make my living off the Evening NewsJust give me somethin'', somethin'' I can usePeople love it when you lose, they love dirty laundryWell, I could''ve been an actor but I wound up hereI just have to look good, I don''t have to be clearCome and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundryKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em all aroundWe got the bubble headed bleach blond who comes on at fiveShe can tell you ''bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eyeIt''s interesting when people die, give us dirty laundryCan we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?You know the boys in the newsroom got a running betGet the widow on the set, we need dirty laundryYou don''t really need to find out what''s goin'' onYou don''t really want to know just how far it''s goneJust leave well enough alone, eat your dirty laundryKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re stiff, kick ''em all aroundKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re stiff, kick ''em all aroundDirty little secrets, dirty little liesWe got our dirty little fingers in everybody''s pieWe love to cut you down to size, we love dirty laundryWe can do, ''The Innuendo,'' we can dance and singWhen it''s said and done we haven''t told you a thingWe all know that crap is king, give us dirty laundryKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re downKick ''em when they''re up, kick ''em when they''re down