Lyrics:

(Paddy Moloney/elvis Costello)**lf****lf**i Knew Of Two Sisters Whose Name It Was Christmas**lf**and One Was Named Dawn Of Course, The Other One Was Named Eve**lf**i Wonder If They Grew Up Hating The Season**lf**of The Good Will That Lasts Till The Feast Of St. Stephen**lf****lf**for That Is The Time To Eat, Drink And Be Merry**lf**''til The Beer Is All Spilled And The Whiskey Is Flowed**lf**and The Whole Family Tree You Neglected To Bury**lf**are Feeding Their Faces Until They Explode**lf****lf**[chorus]**lf**there''ll Be Laughter And Tears Over Tia Marias**lf**mixed Up With That Drink Made From Girders**lf**and It''s All We''ve Got Left As You Draw Your Last Breath**lf**and It''s Nice For The Kids As You''ve Finally Got Rid Of Them**lf**in The St Stephen''s Day Murders**lf****lf**uncle Is Garglin'' A Heart-Breaking Air**lf**while The Babe In His Arms Pulls Out All That Remains Of His Hair**lf**and We''re Not Drunk Enough Yet To Dare Criticize**lf**the Great Big Kipper Tie He''s About To Baptize**lf****lf**his Gin-Flavoured Whispers And Kisses Of Sherry**lf**his Best Crimble Shirt Flung Out Over The Shop**lf**while The Lights From The Christmas Tree Blow Up The Telly**lf**his Face Closes In Like An Old Cold Pork Chop**lf****lf**[alternate Chorus]**lf**and The Carcass Of The Beast Left Over From The Feast**lf**may Still Be Found Haunting The Kitchen**lf**and There''s Life In It Yet We May Live To Regret**lf**when The Ones That We Poisoned Stop Twitchin''**lf****lf**[regular Chorus Repeat]