Lyrics:

I drove my tractor through your haystack last night
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
I threw me pitch fork at your dog to keep quiet
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
Now somethin's tellin' me, that you'm avoidin' me
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
Come on now darlin' you got somethin' I need

Cos I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Come on now let's get together in perfect harmony
Oh I got 20 acres and you got 43
Now I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key

She made I laugh, haha
I'll stick by you I'll give you all that ya need (Ooh ar ooh ar)
We'll have twins and triplets I'm a man built for speed (Ooh ar ooh ar)
And you know I'll love ya darlin' so give me your hand (Ooh ar ooh ar)
But the thing I want the most is all the acres of land

'Cause I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Come on now let's get together in perfect harmony
I got 20 acres and you got 43
Now I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key

Phwoar, she's a lovely bit of stuff 'n' all
For seven long years I've been alone in this place (Ooh ar ooh ar)
Pigs sleep in the kitchen, it's a proper disgrace (Ooh ar ooh ar)
Now if I cleaned it up would ya change our mind (Ooh ar ooh ar)
I'll give up drinkin' scrumpy and that lager and lime

'Cause I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Come on now, let's get together in perfect harmony
I got 20 acres and you got 43
Now I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key

Who loves ya baby, HA
Weren't we a grand couple at that last wurzel dance
I wore brand new gaiters and me corduroy pants (Hahahaha!)
In your new sunday dress with your perfume smellin' grand
We had our photos taken, us holding hands

Now I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Now that we'm both past our 50s I think that you and me
Should stop this galivanting and will you marry me
'Cause I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key

Arrr, you're a fine lookin' woman and I can't wait to get me hands on your land, haha!