Lyrics:

This time(this time)
There were objects so peculiar
They were not to be funny
All around, things that tantalize my brain, my brain
It's a world (world) not like anything I've ever seen
And as hard as I try
I can't seem to describe
Like a most improbable dream, improbable dream
Well, you must believe when I tell you this
It's as real as my skull and it does exist
Here, let me show you this thing
It's called a present
And the whole thing starts with a box

A box?
Is it still?
Are there locks?
Is it filled with a pox?
A pox, how delightful
A pox

If you please, just a box, with white colored paper, and the whole thing's topped with a bow
Bow
Bow?
But why?
How ugly.
What's in it?
What's in it?

That's the point of the thing: not to know

It's a bat
Will it bend?
It's a rat
Will it break?
Perhaps it's the hair that I found in the lake

Listen now
You don't understand
That's not the point of Christmas Land
Now, pay attention
We pick up an oversize sock and hang it like this on the wall
Oh yes, does it still have a foot?
Let me see, let me look
Is it rotted and covered with gook?
Hmm, let me explain
There's no foot inside, but there's candy, or sometimes it's filled with small toys

Small toys
Do they bite?
Do they snap or explode in a sack?
Or perhaps they just spring out and scare girls and boys

What a splendid idea
This Christmas sounds fun
Why, I will endorse it
Let's try it at once

Everyone, please, not so fast
There's something here that you dont quite grasp
Well, I may as well give them what they want
And the best, I must confess, we will save for the last
For the ruler of this Christmas Land is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice
At least, that's what I've come to understand
And I've also heard it told that he's something to behold, like a lobster huge and red
And sets out to slay with his reindeer carting bulging sacks with his big, great arms
And on a dark, cold night
Under full moon light he flies into a fog
Like a vulture in the sky
And they call him Sandy Claws