Lyrics:

Well, I Was Feelin Sad And Feelin Blue,
i Didnt Know What In The World I Was Gonna Do,
them Communists They Wus Comin Around,
they Wus In The Air,
they Wus On The Ground.
they Wouldnt Gimme No Peace. . .

so I Run Down Most Hurriedly
and Joined Up With The John Birch Society,
i Got Me A Secret Membership Card
and Started Off A-Walkin Down The Road.
yee-Hoo, Im A Real John Bircher Now!
look Out You Commies!

now We All Agree With Hitlers Views,
although He Killed Six Million Jews.
it Dont Matter Too Much That He Was A Fascist,
at Least You Cant Say He Was A Communist!
thats To Say Like If You Got A Cold You Take A Shot Of Malaria.

well, I Wus Lookin Everywhere For Them Gol-Darned Reds.
i Got Up In The Mornin n Looked Under My Bed,
looked In The Sink, Behind The Door,
looked In The Glove Compartment Of My Car.
couldnt Find em . . .

i Wus Lookin High An Low For Them Reds Everywhere,
i Wus Lookin In The Sink An Underneath The Chair.
i Looked Way Up My Chimney Hole,
i Even Looked Deep Inside My Toilet Bowl.
they Got Away . . .

well, I Wus Sittin Home Alone An Started To Sweat,
figured They Wus In My T.v. Set.
peeked Behind The Picture Frame,
got A Shock From My Feet, Hittin Right Up In The Brain.
them Reds Caused It!
i Know They Did . . . Them Hard-Core Ones.

well, I Quit My Job So I Could Work Alone,
then I Changed My Name To Sherlock Holmes.
followed Some Clues From My Detective Bag
and Discovered They Wus Red Stripes On The American Flag!
that Ol Betty Ross . . .

well, I Investigated All The Books In The Library,
ninety Percent Of em Gotta Be Burned Away.
i Investigated All The People That I Knowed,
ninety-Eight Percent Of Them Gotta Go.
the Other Two Percent Are Fellow Birchers . . . Just Like Me.

now Eisenhower, Hes A Russian Spy,
lincoln, Jefferson And That Roosevelt Guy.
to My Knowledge Theres Just One Man
thats Really A True American George Lincoln Rockwell.
i Know For A Fact He Hates Commies Cus He Picketed The Movie Exodus.

well, I Finly Started Thinkin Straight
when I Run Outa Things To Investigate.
couldnt Imagine Doin Anything Else,
so Now Im Sittin Home Investigatin Myself!
hope I Dont Find Out Anything . . . Hmm, Great God!