Lyrics:

Denis Leary - Asshole

(Spoken)
folks, Id Like To Sing A Song About The American Dream.
about Me, About You, About The Way Our American Hearts Beat Way Down
in The Bottom Of Our Chests. About The Special Feeling We Get In The
cockles Of Our Hearts, Maybe Below The Cockles, Maybe In The Subcockle
area. Maybe In The Liver. Maybe In The Kidneys. Maybe Even In The
colon, We Dont Know.

(Sung)
im Just A Regular Joe With A Regular Job.
im Your Average White Suburbanite Slob.
i Like Football And Porno And Books About War.
ive Got An Average House With A Nice Hardwood Floor.

my Wife And My Job, My Kids And My Car.
my Feet On My Table And A Cuban Cigar.

but Sometimes That Just Aint Enough To Keep A Man Like Me Interested
(Oh No) No Way (Uh-Uh)
no, Ive Gotta Go Out And Have Fun At Someone Elses Expense
(Oh Yeah) Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
i Drive Really Slow In The Ultra-Fast Lane,
while People Behind Me Are Going Insane.

im An Asshole (Hes An Asshole, What An Asshole)
im An Asshole (Hes An Asshole, Such An Asshole)
i Use Public Toilets And Piss On The Seat,
i Walk Around In The Summertime Saying how About This Heat
im An Asshole (Hes An Asshole, What An Asshole)
im An Asshole (Hes The Worlds Biggest Asshole)
sometimes I Park In Handicapped Spaces,
while Handicapped People Make Handicapped Faces.
im An Asshole (Hes An Asshole, What An Asshole)
im An Asshole (Hes A Real Fucking Asshole)

maybe I Shouldnt Be Singing This Song
ranting And Raving And Carrying On
maybe Theyre Right When They Tell Me Im Wrong
naaaah!

im An Asshole (Hes An Asshole, What An Asshole)
im An Asshole (Hes The Worlds Biggest Asshole)

(Spoken)
know What Im Gonna Do Im Gonna Get Myself A 1967 Cadillac El Dorado,
hot-Fuckin-Pink, With Whaleskin Hubcaps And All-Leather Cow Interior And Big
brown Baby Seal Eyes For Headlights... Yeah! And Im Gonna Drive Around In
that Baby Doing 115 Miles An Hour, Getting 1 Mile Per Gallon, Suckin Down
quarter Pound Cheeseburgers From Mcdonalds In The Old-Fashioned Non-
biodegradable Styrofoam Containers... Yeah! And When Im Done Suckin Down
those Greaseball Burgers Im Gonna Toss The Styrofoam Containers Right Out The
side, And There Aint A Goddamn Thing Anybody Can Do About It. You Know Why
because We Got The Bombs, Thats Why... Yeah! Two Words--Nuclear Fuckin
weapons, Ok Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, They Can Have All The Democracy
they Want...they Can Have A Democracy Cakewalk Right Through The Middle Of
tienamen Square And It Wont Make A Lick Of Fuckin Difference, Because We Got
the Bombs, Ok John Waynes Not Dead--Hes Frozen! And When We Find A Cure For
cancer, Were Gonna Thaw Out The Duke And Hes Gonna Be Pretty Pissed Off. You
know Why You Ever Taken A Cold Shower Well, Multiply That By 15 Million
times--Thats How Pissed Off The Dukes Gonna Be. Im Gonna Get The Duke And
john Casavetti And Sam Peckinpaw And A Case Of Fuckin Whisky And Drive...

(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, You Know You Really Are An Asshole)

why Dont You Shut Up And Sing The Song, Chris. I Thought I Was The
asshole... All The Time It Was Him... What An Asshole!

(Sung)
im An Asshole (Im An Asshole, Hes An Asshole)
im An Asshole (Hes The Worlds Biggest Asshole)
a S-S H-O L-E
everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
a-Thoom A-Thoom-Thoom A-Thoom-Thoom A-Thoom-Thoom
oooooooo

(Spoken)
im An Asshole And Im Proud Of It!

(Chris Mouths Asshole