Lyrics:

We're only making plans for Nigel

We only want what's best for him

We're only making plans for Nigel

Nigel just needs this helping hand



And if young Nigel says he's happy

He must be happy

He must be happy in his work



We're only making plans for Nigel

He has his future in a British steel

We're only making plans for Nigel

Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed



And if young Nigel says he's happy

He must be happy

He must be happy in his work



Nigel is not outspoken

But he likes to speak

And loves to be spoken to



Nigel is happy in his work

We're only making plans for Nigel