Lyrics:

(spoken introductions)

Im Charley, you know
Im Norman pleased to meet you
Im Mickey, hello
Wilko
Im Johnny, how are you doing Harry?
My name is David
And Im Ian and guess what?

Oi!

I want to be straight, I want to be straight
Im sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late.
I wanna confirm, I wanna conform
I wanna be safe and I wanna be snug and I wanna be warm

I want to be straight, I want to be straight
I wanna create a place of my own in the welfare state
Brr, gonna be good, brr, gonna be kind
It might be a wrench but think of the stench Im leaving behind

I want to be straight, I want to be straight
Come out of the cold and do what Im told and dont deviate
I wanna give, I wanna give, I wanna give my consent
Im learning to hate all the things that were great when I used to be bent!

Could be not straightness
dum dum dilley
Might lead to greatness
dur yuh dum der
Owing to lateness
My chance has only just arrived, ha

ow! Straight, straight, straight, straight
Straight, straight, straight, straight
Straight, straight, straight, straight, straight

I want to be straight, I want to be straight
Im sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late
I know that youre right, I know I was wrong
So thanks very much, please keep in touch, Ill be rhyming along

I want to be straight
I want to be straight
I want to be straight
I want to be straight
I want to be straight
I want to be straight...