Lyrics:

Goodbye To All My Friends I've Known
and The Travel Agent I Trusted.
i'm Riding Along On This Beat-Up Old Plane;
look Out The Window. All The Rivets Are Rusted.

as That Ground Crew Pushes Us Backwards
on That Rickety L-1011,
i'm Feeling Around For That Flotation Device,
and When The Safety Film Is Shown,
i'm Payin' Close Attention.

beat-Up Old Jetliner,
hope You Got A Tune-Up Today.
ohhhh, Beat-Up Old Jetliner,
did They Sneak You Past The Faa

bouncin' 'round In A Thunder Cloud,
landing Gear Won't Come Down.
my Seatback Is Up And My Belt Is On.
i See The Fire Crews Sprayin' Foam On The Ground.

and If I Get To My Final Destination,
i Know The Next Flight Will Surely Be Free.
but I Don't Think I'll Go Back Up
into That Piece Of Shit Just To Save A Few Pennies.

beat-Up Old Jetliner
won't Carry Me Too Far Today.
ohhhh, Give Me A Fresh Airliner;
i Don't Care What I've Got To Pay.

yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

beat-Up Old Jetliner,
don't Carry Me Too Far Today.
ohhhh, Beat-Up Old Jetliner,
'cause It's Home That I'd Rather Stay.

ladies And Gentlemen, This Is Your Captain Speaking.
i've Just Turned Off The No-Smokin' Sign.
i Figure, Hell, If The Plane's Smokin' Why Shouldn't You