Lyrics:

Id Like To Have An Argument, Please.
certainly, Sir.
have You Been Here Before
no,
this Is My First Time.

i See
well, Were You Thinking Of Taking A Five Minute Argument Or A Course

well, Whats The Cost

its 1 For A Five Minute Argument,
but Its 8 For A Course Of Ten.

i Think Ill Take The Five Minutes And See How It Progresses.

very Well. Now,
mr. Hayward Isnt Free At The Moment, Nor Is Mr. Baker.
here We Go,
mr. Maynard, Room 12.

thank You.
what Do You Want
well, I Was Told Outside

dont Give Me That
you Snotty-Faced Heap Of Parrot Droppings

what

shut Your Festering Gob - You Tit
your Type Really Makes Me Puke, You Pervert

what Are You Doing
i Came In Here For An Argument!

oh, Im Sorry, But This Is Abuse.
oh, That Explains It.
yes, You Want Room 12a. Next Door.
thank You.

not At All - Door Shuts - Stupid Git.
is The Right Room For An Argument
ive Told You Once.
no, You Didnt.
yes, I Did.

when
just Now.

no, You Didnt.
yes, I Did.
no, You Didnt.

excuse Me.
is The Five Minute Argument Or The Half Hour

oh, Just The Five Minute.

thank You.
anyway, I Did Tell You.

no, You Most Certainly Did Not.

lets Get One Thing Straight
i Most Definitely Told You.

no, You Didnt - Yes, I Did (3x)

this Isnt An Argument
yes, It Is.

no, It Isnt.
its Just Contradiction.

no, It Isnt - Yes, It Is.
you Just Contradicted Me.

no, It Isnt - Yes, It Is.
no (3x)

you Did Just Then.
thats Ludicrous.

oh, This Is Futile.
no, It Isnt.

i Came In Here For A Good Argument.
no, You Didnt.
you Came In Here For An Argument.

well, Argument Isnt The Same As Contradiction.
can Be.
no, It Cant.
an Argument Is A Collective Series Of Statements
intended To Establish A Proposition.

no, It Isnt - Yes, It Is.
it Isnt Just Contradiction.

look, If I Argue With You.
i Must Take A Contrary Position.

but It Isnt Just Saying
no, It Isnt - Yes, It Is.

no, It Isnt.
arguments An Intellectual Protest,
contradiction Just The Automatic
opposite Of Any Statement The Other Person Makes.

no, It Isnt - Yes, It Is.
not At All.

now, Look
good Morning.
what

thats It.
good Morning.

i Was Just Getting Interested.
im Sorry, The Five Minutes Is Up.
that Was Not Five Minutes.
im Afraid It Was.
oh, No, It Wasnt.

im Sorry, But Im Not Allowed To Argue Anymore.
what

if You Want To Go On Arguing
youll Have To Pay For Another Five Minutes.
but That Was Not Five Minutes, Just Now - Oh, Come On.

if You Want To Continue Arguing,
you Must Pay For Another Five Minutes.

oh, Fine.
here.
thank You.

well
well What

that Was Not Five Minutes, Just Then.
i Told You, You Have To Pay.

i Just Paid.
no, You Didnt. - Yes I Did
no, You Didnt.

i Dont Want To Argue About That.
well, You Didnt Pay.

ah, But If I Didnt Pay,
why Are You Arguing - Aha - Got You.
no, You Havent.
yes, I Have.
if Youre Arguing, I Must Have Paid.

not Necessarily.
i Could Be Arguing In My Spare Time.

oh, Ive Had Enough Of This.
no, You Havent.
oh, Shut Up