Lyrics:

Abbott How Do You...how Do You Like My Lawn Club For St. Lou
costello Hey, All Those People Gonna Be At The Game Today
abbott Certainly.
costello Ah, This Is Gonna Be A Whopper Of A Game!
abbott Well It Should Be.
costello Hey, Abbott...
abbott What
costello I Understand They Made You The Manager Of This Here Whole Great Team.
abbott Why Not
costello So You The Manager
abbott Im The Manager!
costello Well, You Know, Id Like To Know Some Of The Guys Names On The Team So When I Meet em On The Street Or In The Ballpark Ill Be Able To Say, hello, To Those People.
abbott Why Sure Ill Introduce You To The Boys. They Give em Funny Names Though, St. Lou.
costello Oh I Know They Give Those Ball Players Awful Funny Names.
abbott Well, Lets See, On The Team We Have Uh Whos On First, Whats On Second, I Dont Know Is On Third...
costello Are You The Manager
abbott Yes.
costello You Know The Guys Names
abbott I Sure Do.
costello Then Tell Me The Guys Names.
abbott I Say, Whos On First, Whats On Second, I Dont Knows On Third And Then You...
costello You The Manager
abbott Yes.
costello You Know The Guys Names
abbott Im Telling You Their Names!
costello Well Whos On First
abbott Yeah.
costello Go Ahead And Tell Me.
abbott Who.
costello The Guy On First.
abbott Who.
costello The Guy Playin First Base.
abbott Who.
costello The Guy On First.
abbott Who Is On First!
costello What Are You Askin Me For Im Askin You!
abbott Im Not Asking You, Im Telling You.
costello You Aint Tellin Me Nothin. Im Askin You, Whos On First
abbott Thats It!
costello Well Go Ahead And Tell Me.
abbott Who!
costello The Guy On First Base.
abbott Thats His Name.
costello Thats Whose Name
abbott Yes.
costello Well Go Ahead And Tell Me.
abbott Thats The Mans Name!
costello Thats Whose Name
abbott Yeah!
costello Well Go Ahead And Tell Me!
abbott Who Is On First.
costello What Are You Askin Me For Im Askin You, Whos On First
abbott Thats It.
costello Well Go Ahead And Tell Me.
abbott Who.
costello The Guy On First.
abbott Thats It.
costello Whats The Guys Name On First
abbott No, Whats On Second.
costello Im Not Askin You Whos On Second!
abbott Whos On First.
costello Thats What Im Askin You! Whos On First
abbott Now Wait A Minute. Dont...dont Change The Players.
costello Im Not Changin Nobody! I Asked You A Simple Question. Whats The Guys Name On First Base
abbott Whats The Guys Name On Second Base.
costello Im Not Askin You Whos On Second!
abbott Whos On First.
costello I Dont Know.
abbott Hes On Third. Now Were Not Talking About Him.
costello Look, You Got A First Baseman
abbott Yes.
costello Then Tell Me The Fellas Name Playin First.
abbott Who.
costello The Guy Playin First.
abbott Thats His Name.
costello Wait...whats The Guys Name On First Base
abbott What Is The Guys Name On Second Base!
costello Whos Playin Second
abbott Whos Playin First.
costello I Dont Know.
abbott Hes On Third Base.
costello Look, When You Pay Off The First Baseman Every Month, Who Do You Pay The Money To
abbott Every Dollar Of It.
costello Yeah. Look, You Gotta Pay The Money To Somebody On First Base, Dont You
abbott Yeah.
costello Does He Give You A Receipt
abbott Sure.
costello How Does He Sign The Receipt
abbott Who.
costello The Guy That You Give The Money To.
abbott Who.
costello The Guy You Give The Money To.
abbott Thats How He Signs It.
costello Thats How Who Signs It
abbott Yes.
costello Well Go Ahead And Tell Me! Abbott Thats It.
costello Thats Who
abbott Yeah.
costello When You Give The Guy The Money, Doesnt He Have To Sign The Receipt
abbott He Does!
costello Well How Does He Sign His Name
abbott Who.
costello The Guy You Give The Money To.
abbott Thats How He Signs It!
costello You! You...you Just Dont Give Money To Someone Without Having em Sign The Receipt!
abbott No! Who Signs It.
costello What Are You Askin Me For
abbott Now Calm Down. Im Not Asking You, I Am Telling You. The...
costello Well Go Ahead And Tell Me. Whats The Guys Name That Signs The Receipt On First Base
abbott Well Now Wait A Minute. What Signs His Own Receipt.
costello Who Signs His Own Receipt
abbott No, Who Signs His.
costello Im Askin You, When The Guy On First Base Gives You A Piece Of Paper...
abbott Yes, Now Wait...
costello ...he Puts His Name On It.
abbott No, Who Puts His Name On It...
costello How...
abbott ...and What Puts His Name On It...
costello How Does The Fellas Name On First Base Look To You When He Signs His Name
abbott Who.
costello To You.
abbott Thats How It Does.
costello How Does It Look To You
abbott Who!
costello To You.
abbott Who!
costello To You.
abbott Who! Look...
costello When The Guy Signs His Name, How Does It Look To You
abbott Now Thats How It Looks. Who.
costello H-How...who
abbott Who.
costello Im Askin You. Whats The Guys Name On First Base You Give The Money To
abbott Who! After All, The Mans Entitled To It...
costello Who Is
abbott Yes. Sometimes His Wife Comes Down And Collects It.
costello Whose Wife
abbott Yeah, Sure.
costello All Im Tryin To Find Out Is Whats The Guys Name On First Base...
abbott What Is On Second Base.
costello Im Not Askin You Whos On Second.
abbott Whos On First.
costello I Dont Know.
abbott Hes...
costello Third Base, I Know.
abbott Yeah.
costello You Got A Outfield
abbott Sure.
costello The Left Fielders Name
abbott Why.
costello I Just Thought Id Ask You.
abbott Well I Just Thought Id Tell You.
costello The Left Fielders Name
abbott Why! Costello Hmm...because!
abbott Oh, Hes Centerfield.
costello Oh...
abbott Told You All These Players Got...
costello All Im Tryin To Figure Out Is Whats The Guys Name In Leftfield.
abbott Now, Whats On Second.
costello Im Not Askin You Whos On Second.
abbott Whos On First.
costello I Dont Know...
both Third Base.
costello You Got A Pitcher On This Team
abbott Wouldnt Be A Fine Team Without A Pitcher.
costello Whats His Name
abbott Tomorrow.
costello You Dont Want To Tell Me Today
abbott Im Telling You.
costello Then Go Ahead.
abbott Tomorrow! Costello What Time
abbott What Time What
costello What Time Tomorrow Are You Gonna Tell Me Whos Pitching
abbott Now Listen. Who Is Not...
costello Ill Break Your Arm, You Say Whos On First! I Want To Know Whats The Pitchers Name
abbott Whats On Second.
costello I Dont Know.
both Third Base!
costello You Got A Catcher
abbott Sure.
costello The Catchers Name
abbott Today.
costello Today. You Dont Wanna Tell Me, Today...tomorrow...do You
abbott Im Telling You.
costello So The Catchers Name
abbott Today.
costello Today. And Tomorrows Pitching.
abbott Now Youve Got It!
costello Now Ive Got It...
abbott Hey!
costello All We Got Is A Couple Of Days On The Team!
abbott Well I Cant Help That.
costello All Right. You Know Now, Im A Good Catcher. Now, I Get Behind The Plate And...and Tomorrows Pitching On My Team And A Heavy Hitter Gets Up.
abbott Yes.
costello Now When He Gets Up, Me Being A Good Catcher, Im Gonna Throw The Guy Out At First Base. So The Guy Bunts The Ball. I Pick Up The Ball; Im Gonna Throw The Guy Out At First Base. So I Pick Up The Ball And Throw It To Who
abbott Now Thats The First Thing Youve Said Right.
costello I Dont Even Know What Im Talkin About!
abbott Well Thats...thats All You Have...
costello Thats All I Have To Do Is To Throw The Ball To First Base. Now Whos Got It
abbott Naturally. Now Youve Got It.
costello I Throw The Ball To First Base, Somebodys Gotta Get The Ball! Now Whos Got It
abbott Naturally.
costello Who
abbott Naturally.
costello Naturally
abbott Naturally.
costello So I Pick Up The Ball And I Throw It To Naturally.
abbott No, No, No, No...
costello He Gets The Ball. Naturally Gets The Ball And...nat-
abbott You Throw The Ball To First Base.
costello Then Who Gets It
abbott Naturally.
costello So I Pick Up The Ball And I Throw It To Naturally.
abbott No!
costello Naturally Gets The Ball And...and...
abbott You Throw The Ball To Who.
costello Naturally.
abbott Naturally.
costello Thats What Im Saying! Abbott Youre Not Saying It...
costello I Said, I Throw The Ball To Naturally.
abbott No You Dont!
costello I Throw It To Who
abbott Naturally.
costello Thats What Im Saying!
abbott No It Isnt.
costello I Throw The Ball To First Base, Somebodys Gotta Get It.
abbott So Who Gets It.
costello Naturally.
abbott Thats It.
costello Okay. Now I Ask You, Who Gets It
abbott Naturally.
costello Same As You!
abbott Now Listen...
costello I Throw The Ball To Naturally.
abbott You Throw The Ball To Who! Costello Then Who Gets It
abbott Naturally.
costello He Better Get It! So I Throw The Ball To First Base.
abbott All Right.
costello Whoever Gets It Drops The Ball And The Guy Runs To Second. Now, Who Picks Up The Ball And Throws It To What. What Throws It To I Dont Know. I Dont Know Throws It Back To Tomorrow, Triple Play.
abbott Could Be.
costello Another Guy Gets Up And Hits A Long Fly Ball To Because.
abbott Yes.
costello Why I Dont Know! Hes On Third And I Dont Give A Darn!
abbott Whatd You Say
costello I Said, I Dont Give A Darn!
abbott Oh, Thats Our Shortstop!