Lyrics:

ill Tell You A Story About A Geezer Called The Winkle Man, A Right Dirty Sod!

the Winkle Man Comes Down The Street
and Serves All The Ladys
what Do You Know, Nine Months On,
theyve All Got Cramps And Babys

the Funny Thing About, He Was Right Little Shrimp!

he Used To Sell Them Cellary
and According To The Dirty Talk
he Asked Them What They Liked Best
the Knob End, Or The Stalk!

no Wonder Why A Woman Used To Come In Here With A Smile On Her Face, Ill Smash His Face In!

hed Go Down To His Local Pub
for A Pint And A Packet Of Brisks
the Barmaids Got A 48
and He Always Grabs Her Tits, Like Coconuts!

a Girl He Had Was A Noisy Bird
she Used To Scream And Moan
she Shouted help! He Said you Silly Cow,
i Can Manage On Me Own

what, Do You Want To Bring The Neighbors In Then Oh What Do You Want, A Gang Bang Then

she Said i Was A Virgin,
now Ive Been Dumped Twice In A Day
he Said twice, But Its Only Once
she Said right, You Gonna Dash Away

allright, Be Gentle With Me, Its Only My Second Time . . . Today

when He Was Young And In His Prime
hed Have A Woman Any Old Time
now Hes Old And Getting Gray
he Seems To, Like The, Other Way!

well I Suppose Theres No Harm In Him Being A Shirt-Lifter, It Just Means Theres More Birds For All The Fellows In The Pub!

[winkle Man] winkle, Winkle!
[judge Dread] oh Christ, Here He Comes Again! Gay Boys In Bondage. Do You Want A Drink
[w. M.] yes Please Sailor
[j. D.] who Are You Calling Sailor Ill Smash You In The Gut!
[w. M.] up Yours, Butch!
[j. D.] ill Give You Up Yours! You, Bum Burgler! Take That!