Lyrics:

Arnie's Daddy said he'd take him fishin'
If he'd just dig the bait
He said: 'Get lost, Dad, I'm watchin' mud wrasslin'
Go jump in the lake
Why don't you take that neighbour girl?
The one that favors our dog.'
His dad said: 'Son, she might sink the boat
She weighs more than our hog.'
And Arnie said:
'She's got a tackle box that you'd kill for
A Zebco rod and reel
She won the Junior Bassmasters tourney
And I just ate oatmeal
And I'm afraid I might hurl
Daddy, please, please take the girl.'
(Arnie: 'I'd rather take a canin' than to go fishin')
Same whiney boy, same large girl
Eleven years with no date
They finally married when they both realised
They'd get a big tax break
One night at the laundrymat
Warshin' underwear
A stranger pulled a water-gun;
Arnie soiled another pair, (Whoops.)
And whimpered:

'Ain't got no money, in my wallet
She's got the credit cards
But they're all run up over the limit
Won't get you very far
And though her hair's up in curls and she looks like Milton Burle
She ain't wearin' fake pearls
Mister please, please, please take the girl
Well she ain't bad when she gets a couple of coats of that cold cream on her, and a sack over her head
A toothless Arnie, a whale of a woman
Forty years down the tube
One day they found him with a shotgun
Buck-naked on the roof
Doctor's said: 'He's lost his mind
We'll have to take him away.' (No o o o!)
As they strapped that straight jacket on him
Someone heard him say -- he babbled out loud:
If you'd lived with her, long as I have
You'd be slap crazy too
She's the one that's really a psycho
More than a few screws loose
She's nutty as a squirrel;
Doctor, please, please take the girl

Get her outta here!
Arnie's Daddy said he'd take him fishin'
If he'd just dig the bait
Is it Tim McGraw or John Anderson
I'm trying to imitate?
Sorry Tim!