Lyrics:

Sixteen military wives
Thirty-two softly focused, brightly colored eyes
Staring at the natural tan
Of thirty-two gently clenching wrinkled little hands

Seventeen company men
Out of which only twelve will make it back again
Sergeant sends a letter to five
Military wives whose tears drip down from ten little eyes

Cheer them on to their rivals
'Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so, it's so
And the anchor person on TV
Goes La de da de da

Fifteen celebrity minds
Leading their Fifteen sordid, wretched, checkered lives
Will they find the solution in time
Using their Fifteen pristine, moderate, liberal minds

Eighteen academy chairs
Out of which only seven really even care
Doling out the garland to five
Celebrity minds, they're humbly taken by surprise

Cheer them on to their rivals
'Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so, it's so
And the anchor person on TV
Goes la de da de da, de di de da de da
La de da de da, de di de da de da

Fourteen cannibal kings
Wondering blithely what the dinner bell will bring
Fifteen celebrity minds
Served on a leafy bed of sixteen military wives

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so, it's so
And the anchor person on TV
Goes la de da de da, de di de da de da
La de da de da, de di de da de da
La de da de da, de di de da de da
La de da de da, de di de da de da
La de da de da, de di de da de da