Lyrics:

BLOODNOK'S ROCK 'N' ROLL CALL
YING TONG SONG

Company shun! Shoulder High!! By the right, number!
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
Nine, ten, eleven, tweleve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen
Sixteen, fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve, eleven, ten, nine
Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
Nine, ten, eleven, tweleve, thirteen, fourteen,

You've got to rock and roll in a roll call way
You've got to march with a Marilyn Monroe sway
You've got to rock and roll with your old kit bag
But you musn't ever mention her name in the mess
And if you want to know the title of this number
It is a Major Dennis Bloodnok Rock'n'Roll Call rhumba

Left, left, left, right left
Quick, slow, quick, quick, slow
In, out, in, in, out
Pick up your gun, shove a bullet up the spout
It's the dance they do from Madras to Pango-Pango
It is a Major Dennis Bloodnok Rock'n'Roll Call Tango

Coy, dum diddle, blow de how
Bombay didde bowl of char
Um diddle

Minnie: Stop! Stop! Stop that sinful naughty record-type music
Stop it I say! Oh! Stop it you fool. Stop it!

Bloodnok: Oh! Foddle me puckies and cril me topie
Why do my beady old eyes deceive me, or is it?
No, no -- it can't be. But yes! It is!
It's me old child hood sweetheart Spotty Minnie
Bannister-- the darling of Roper's Light Horse

Bless my soul, what are you doing here?
Nothing catching I hope
Minnie: I just came to put my bag full of money in the bank
Bloodnok: Money! Money! Oh!!! Neddie, take Miss Bannister
in a steaming love dance while I check her properties
One, two, three, four

Secombe: Gents to the left, ladies to the right.
All join hands -- panic



Bloodnok: Bravado, bravado. What a voice! (What a bank balance!)
I beg you, you gorgeous wanton. Give me some small token of your love and I will sing you a known military melody.

Music, maestro Plonk

(Right mate)
You've got to rock'n'roll in a monetary manner
If you want to earn a necessary tanner
Take your pick while the picking's good
If you don't pick right, things will never get better
When I hear the chink of money that is good news
It drives away the Bloodnok Rock'n'Roll call blues

So let there be, always some cash for me
That will be mine, all mine!

(Send only 2/6 for a copy of this record)

Ying Tong Song

Orchestral intro)

Tenor: There's a song that I recall
My mother sang to me.
Spriggs (off): Oh! (a sigh)
Tenor: She sang it as she tucked me in
When I was ninety-three.

(harp plays a rising chord...)

Spriggs: I diddle, I. Who was that bum?

Bluebottle + Spriggs:
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po,
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong (bluebottle drops behind)
Ying tong iddle I po
Spriggs: Keep lad up. Keep.
Bluebottle: Keep up lad up.


Both: Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
Spriggs: lad
Both: Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po (lad)
Iddle I po (lad)

Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong (Spriggs: iddle) (Bluebottle: ying tong)
Ying tong iddle I po
Ying tong ying tong iddle

Bluebottle (spoken):
Ying tong iddle I po!
(short raspberry, Secombe)

Both: Oh!
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
Iddle I po!

(trumpet bit)

Bluebottle:
Ying. Ying tongy tongy.
Ying tong iddle I po.
Ying tong iddle I po.
(Secombe under this: What a lovely lovely boy!)
(or Secombe under this: What a lovely melody devine!)
Ying ying ying tongy tongy.
(Milligan: Get out the rifle, sir.)
(or Milligan: Get off the record.)
Yeeeng.
Ying tong ying tong d'gy-n'o.
Ying tong d'ga.
(Secombe: Get away.)
D'g d'g d'ga.
Ying tong iddle I po.

Seagoon:Hear that crazy rhythm
Driving me insane.
Strike your partner on the bonce (bonk?).
(thump)
Eccles: Ooh. I felt no pain.
(Seagoon screeches)

Seagoon, Bluebottle and Eccles:
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying...

(harp chord rises)

Soprano: Take me back to Vienna....

(Raspberry section, probably Milligan)

Bloodnok: Ohhhhh!
Eccles: Oh!

(harp chord)

Soprano: Take me back to Vienna, where the....

(crash!)

Seagoon, Spriggs and Bluebottle (far off):
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po

(mad dash to foreground)

Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
(Spriggs: where's he going lad?)
(BB: I don't know)
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po

Seagoon: LOOK OUT!
(cry from Bluebottle)

(mad dash to distance)

(hastily)
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po

(dash to foreground)

Ying tong...

(whine of bomb dropping, explosion)

Double speed, but same tempo, Goons:

Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
Iddle I po.

Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
Iddle I po.

One: Ying! Tongy tongy tongy.
Yiddy diddy diddy da daaa. Ying diddy.
Ying tong diddle. Yiddada boo.
(rhythmic thigh slapping, raspberry)

All Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle
Ying tong iddle I po
Ying tong ying tong
Ying tong iddle I po
Iddle I po.

Eccles: Whoooooh!