Lyrics:

What a surpriser
Open your eyes, A
Woman advisor

The name of this entertainement
is women lose weight
Our first years of mariage
everything was just great
But after two kids
and a weight gain factor
The fact is now
she's completely unattractive
Look fat chicks
I don't mean to sound rude
I tell her nice hit the gym
and don't eat so much food
But no, 'Your shallow,
you need to run the course
of unconditionnal love and
so forth'
But how If desire's is not there
that's just delayment
Divorce is, child support,
alimony payments
My happiness I doubt
discouraged
So hurry for an easier way
out of this marriage

Meanwhile my secretary June,
well groomed
'When you gonna leave
your wife?'
I tell her soon mommy soon I
assume
Or my destiny is blue
Interestingly the only thing
left for me to do
Is to kill her

What a surpriser
Open your eyes, A
Woman advisor

I'm going to have to kill her
Of course there's laws
which enforces divorces
I'll send that ass right
To the morgue miss

My plans against or
shenanigans kinda ran thin
Knowin' nothing about
poisoning and I can't swim
Bad intentions pumping,
might as well become numb
Cut her lungs or the obvious
robbery gone wrong
But the catch is do I
have the nerve to dispatch this
Who can i get to help me
murder this fat chick?
I guess i'll have to play
a dude robbin
On Wednesday the day
she usually goes food shopping
Anyway, long story short;
hit the side of her Chrysler
And sent her clean over the divider
You bastard she said as the
wreck
went tumblin down the hill
I thought she has to be dead
Later on get a call from a
Lieutenant O'Rourke
Had me leaping like a frog
'We need you at the morgue'
So I selfishly pursue
Boo Hoo there was nothing
else for me to do
I had to kill her

What a surpriser

Screaming who done took my
heart,
Acting shakin up a lot

At the funeral, though everyone
was lookin at me odd
Like i did it
Like i was the reason
my mates slain
Murmuring, I heard he was
displeased with her weight gain
While my secretary sort of a
sexy blonde, can't cook
All she does is order from
restaurants
All of the sex you want
I doubt could adress
Clothes not washed proper
and house look a mess
And talkin to detectives
that was waitin outside
How I took a long lunch
break day the wife died
I darn near turned pale
And because of betrayal
They indicted me and
gave me an impossible bail

Good fortune to anyone
admiring the rawtent
Moral of the story
is desire is important
So watch your weight
It'll keep you mate smitten
It's a given
Though looking back I realise
I didn't have to kill her

What a surpriser

Well there you have it
Keep trim,
keep your mariage healthy
Do you know what I mean
A small message from Morcheeba
and Slick Rick the ruler

Peace