Lyrics:

Ah so.
The ducks are sitting and I making my list now,
Macc Lads stagger in and their all fucking pissed,
The fucking drunk bastards can't take their beer,
Free gravy tonight, I've got bad diarrhoea.
Sea food special with extra crab,
Two pancake with a penis scab,
See you tomorrow and we have chick pie,
We have dog and I think he about to die...
Cut your nail into prawn cracker,
Add black bit from around my knaccars,
Call me Chinky, little yellow git,
You'll be on the bog for a week.
'Cos you want to know what's in my wok,
Pubic lice from around my cock,
Egg foo young and crispy noodle,
No I haven't seen your poodle....
You want to try my sweet and sour chicken,
I give you free bag to be sick in.
Call me slanty, you're very very nasty,
I fart on chips and piss on pastie.
Chinky cunt? Ha, very very funny,
Jumbo sausage, chips and curry,
Gordon smile and take the money,
Excellant laddy, my arse is runny.
Pie Taster
Oi, oi, oi,
She had just turned twenty nine,
Needed a good ironing,
Smelling like a dench,
Face looked like a welder's bench.
And she was baggy at the rear,
She could fart for Lancashire,
And she said she liked the taste of me bellend chedder,
And she asked me if I wanted fer bed her.
She were desperate for a fuck,
Said her cunt were ill enough,
She had piles and NSU,
Creepy crawlies in her pubes,
And dribbling out of her womb,
Were semen and the QE2.
But I've never been to bed with an ugly woman,
But I've woken up with one or two,
No he's never been to bed with an ugly woman,
But he's woken up with quite a few.
Stretch marks on her bum,
Tated pies for Titterton's,
Stretch marks on her bum,
Tasted pies for Titterton's,
Stretch marks on her bum,
Tasted pies for Titterton's,
Stretch marks on her bum,
Tasted pies for Titterton's,
Stretch marks on her bum...
Yaaaw.
Yaaaw.
But I've never been to bed with an ugly woman,
But I've woken up with one or two,
No he's never been to bed with an ugly woman,
But he's woken up with quite a few.
Macc Lads Gordon's Revenge