Lyrics:

Mean Mr. Mustard sleeps in the park
Shaves in the dark trying to save paper
Sleeps in a hole in the road (yes he does)
Saving up to buy some clothes (yes, he is)
He keeps a ten-bob note up his nose (yes he does)
He's such a mean old man (yes, he is)
He's such a mean old man (yes, he is)
His sister Shelly works in a shop
She never stops, she's a go-getter
She's saving up to look at the queen (God save the queen)
Only place that he's ever been (God save the queen)
They always shouts out something obscene
He's such a dirty old man
Dirty old man

Come on now, did I see you? Who knows?
These just are Bernies works in the fannies