Lyrics:

This song now is ah, the, usual saloon song
We do in every performance
And there are many of them, for instance 'Rainy Days' is a saloon song
'One For My Baby' is a good saloon song
And they used to be called torch songs years ago, when I was a boy
I don't think I was ever a boy
I know I wasn't a girl
No, but they really did in the old days, they called 'em torch songs
And then of course we modern days, we call them saloon songs
Because we called every place that sells whiskey a saloon
This is a saloon. It's big, but it's a saloon
This one was written by Tom Adair and Matt Dennis
And with a pretty arrangement by Nelson Riddle, this is it

You know that uh, these kind of songs are quite sad
And they tell the story of a poor soul who's left alone in his room
His chick has flipped and flew the coop
Gone man, gone
And uh, he's in trouble because he's got not much left to drink
He's pretty bummed as it is
Worse than that he's got a half ounce of grass and no paper and no matches

Ain't that a bitch? That's heavy man
Anyway he, uh, he sits there for a couple of days
As a lost soul, and one morning at about one thirty or two o'clock in the morning
He decides he's gonna go out among the rest of us
To see if he can make it, make it back into the mainstream
And he doesn't quite make it, he's just looking for somebody to talk to
So you're it

Drink up all of you people
Order anything that you see
And have fun you happy people
The drink and the laugh's on me

I try to think that love's not around
Still it's uncomfortably near

My poor old heart, it ain't gaining any ground
Because my angel eyes, she ain't here

Angel eyes that old Devil sent
They glow unbearably bright

And need I say that my love's been misspent?
Misspent with angel eyes tonight

Drink up, drink up all of you people
Order anything that you see

And have fun, have lots of fun, all you happy people
The drink and the laughs are on me

Pardon me but I gotta run
The fact's uncommonly clear

I'd like to find who's now the number one
And why my angel eyes, she ain't here

'Scuse me while I